"I can't get enough hoarding shows", Feller said. "I want them all!"
Maintaining a wide smile and laughing throughout his presentation, he said "Of course, the original Hoarders will be our tentpole Thursday night show, and we'll build around it. We've made an offer to Animal Planet to get the rights to their Animal Hoarders, and we've also got a deal in the works with TLC to pry Buried Alive away from them. We've got to have them! But it won't end there!
"We want every weeknight to be packed to the ceiling with original hoarding shows. We've got all kinds of ideas. Game shows like The Biggest Hoarder, Find the Cat!, Would You Keep *THIS* Thing?, Make A Path!, and the list goes on and on.
"We're planning instructional shows like That Still Fits! and The Best Old Food.
"We've also got plans for a serious documentary series called called Whore Hoarders, about men who kidnap and imprison lots of prostitutes. A guy from marketing expressed some concern about that one and tried to take it away from me -I mean take it out of the lineup. I got so angry! I just screamed at him until he backed down.
"You want drama? We've got a Law & Order spin off planned titled 'Law & Order: Code Enforcement'! Talk about a procedural!
"You literally can not get into my office it's so packed with paperwork on ideas for hoarding shows. I don't let even the cleaning staff in anymore for fear they'll throw away some treasure of mine!
"I'm really excited about making this transition. I'm not sure one network will be enough! Our stuff might just spill over onto some other channels!
Hey John--
ReplyDeleteLove the blog--this one in particular! I'd have to say my fav is "Find the Cat!" But really, they're all great...and the two instructional shows are especially oh-so-poignant.
Speaking of reality shows, remember that one called Fear Factor, where people could win $50,000 for doing something terribly disgusting (or scary)? Well, how about a show simply called "What Will YOU Do for Fifty Bucks?" (i.e., push an old lady out of line at the store, wear a beard of bees, etc., etc.) Actually, come to think of it, the bees thing would probably demand more $. At least a couple of hundred, I guess.
Anyway, your posts rank right up there with the venerated Onion. Keep 'em coming! Looking forward to more.
Best regards ever,
Isabel Parker
Mutual Friend of Denny Horan, Big PFT Fan, and, Yes, Fellow Former McDevitteer (Class of '83) :-)
Wow, Isabel. What a nice comment! Thanks for taking the time.
ReplyDeleteI tried to get through Fear Factor a few times but the desire to punch Joe Rogan was so strong I never made it through more than 10 minutes or so.
John
RE: Joe Rogan--I can empathize. It's a visceral reaction, ain't it. Ultimately, I don't think I ever ended up watching an entire show, either; and I gave up altogether after the episode when the contestants were forced to eat bulls' balls.
ReplyDeleteRE: My comment: Believe me, it is well-deserved, sir! You mange to cover such a rich terrain--hitting every nuance of our silly, little, brutish, daily lives. Each article is a mini masterpiece, but I think your piece de resistance is your Amish story. I re-read it tonight, and the tears were flowing down the face. Again.
So glad you posted your post-PFT show photos on FB (we went to the show, too--it was great!!). They showed up on my FB wall because Dennis was tagged, and, being the nosy person that I am, I of course clicked on your name--and that's how I found your blog. (Then I also learned you're not only friends w/ Denny, but also w/ one of my all-time favorite people, Kathy Tyson!)
BTW, were you THE John in Paul's story about his Temple U. philosophy class??
the prequel to hoarders; stampede at Wal Mart
ReplyDeleteIsabel,
ReplyDeleteYes! I went to grade school with the Tyson girls.
I was the John in the PFT story. I had no idea he was telling that story in his act, so it was a really fun surprise.
Thanks again - John